It’s been nearly 2 months since I last updated the site, and I sincerely apologize for depriving all of you of 90s cultural goodness for such an unacceptable duration. Real life has a habit of getting in the way of my more meaningful pursuits like watching shitty movies and spending way too much money on toys and cereal bowls on eBay.
Anyway, today is Memorial Day and all and, besides being a time for remembering and honoring fallen soldiers, it’s a weekend that feels like the unofficial start of summer for most people. There are BBQs, beach trips, and lots of outdoor fun, booze, and grilled meats to be indulged in.
Besides all of the classic summer weekend nostalgia, however, it also reminds me of one of the fundamental pieces of childhood comedic entertainment: 90s SUMMER CAMP MOVIES. Kids in these movies get to live fantastical lives full of romance and debauchery simply because they’re sleeping in bunks in the woods away from competent adult supervision. The owner of the camp is too busy worrying about the business end of things and the counselors are too busy fucking each other for any of them to give a damn about what the kids are doing. Oh, the beauty of summer camps.
The 90s was such a cultural melting pot of hip-hop, grunge, teen angst, heroin, and apathy, so it’s no surprise that it lead to many inside phrases that could only be properly understood by those who grew up in that wonderful generation. From movies to TV to popular music, kids all over the world were picking up descriptive phrases and new bits of language that they could take to the schoolyard and spread to their friends.
While some of this vocabulary is still heavily in use today, I thought it would be a good idea to take a look back at some of the best words from the 90s, complete with definitions and sentences presenting their proper usage in everyday speech.
“I admire people who dare to take the language, English, and understand it and understand the melody.” – Maya Angelou
I’ll be the first to admit that I’m 28 years old and way past the socially acceptable age to be wrapped up in the petty drama and day-to-day lives of party-going, teenage rebels. That doesn’t make me any less obsessed with teen media, though. From my earliest cognitive memories to my most recent levels of semi-consciousness, I have always been a fan of any stories based around teenagers and their struggles.
While the 80s had John Hughes movies and the Brat Pack alongside landmark series like Degrassi, the beginnings of Saved By The Bell, and The Wonder Years, the 90s are where I did my bulk of adolescent entertainment consumption. That doesn’t mean that the 80s stuff was overlooked, however, I just got the spillover and the syndication instead of the first runs.
The 90s film and TV landscape provided a really colorful, slacker-centric, radical look at the elusive teenage creature. The most memorable series like Beverly Hills, 90210 and My So-Called Life gave us a voyeuristic look into the 90s high school microcosm and provided endless hours of engaging plot developments. There were also shows like Boy Meets World, Salute Your Shorts, Hey Dude, Party of Five and the oft-forgotten Sweet Valley High and the Secret World of Alex Mack, among others. Movies like Angus, Encino Man, Airborne, Dazed and Confused, 10 Things I Hate About You, Clueless, Can’t Hardly Wait, Varsity Blues, Kids, Hackers, and countless others gave us tears and laughter as they punctuated both our awkward weekend movie dates and our lives.
“The last metroid is in captivity. The galaxy is at peace.”
This simple phrase is the first step of a wildly satisfying, epic journey in quite possibly the most perfect action and exploration video game ever made, Super Metroid. Of all the games I’ve owned, rented, or played over the course of my 28 year existence, it ranks right up there with Chrono Trigger as a textbook example of gaming bliss. In many people’s opinions, it could even be considered the definitively best video game experience ever created. You’re all well aware that my loyalty still lies with the aforementioned time-traveling RPG, but it’s only by a very narrow margin.
Let’s first take a moment to discuss the overall basis of the Metroid franchise’s Sci-Fi storyline. You play as a blonde beautiful bad ass named Samus Aran, an intergalactic bounty hunter on the hunt for Space Pirates led by the monstrously powerful Mother Brain. The Space Pirates themselves are in constant search of one of the galaxy’s most mysterious and powerful creatures, the Metroid, in order to harvest them for their own personal gain. You see, the Metroids are seemingly simplistic, jellyfish-like floating blobs, but their ability to drain life and energy from living things makes them a hot commodity for power hungry space conquerers.
It’s no surprise that 90s Nickelodeon captured the perfect blend of creativity, imagination, and goofiness to make it the mecca of kid-friendly programming. From the younger-aimed Nick Jr. daytimes to the Stick Stickly afternoons, Nick at Nite’s classical-era sitcoms and a flawless Saturday SNICK line-up, Nickelodeon was the king of family entertainment.
One of my favorite Sesame-Street-esque pieces of the Nickelodeon entertainment puzzle was a little children’s variety show of sorts called Eureeka’s Castle. Co-created by R. L. Stine, of Goosebumps infamy (Say cheese and die, bitch!), this puppet-driven kids’ fantasy land ran from September 4, 1989 to June 30, 1995.
The show takes the viewer into the daily lives of various puppets and chronicles their whacky adventures that all involve some sort of important life lesson.